Releases ⚡ Citric Acid
Sister Death The convent as an ideological machinery
Bastian Noir dissects Paco Plaza's foray into post-war horror, where the real ghost is ideology and indoctrination.
By: Bastian Noir 11/2/2026 • ⏱️ 5 min
🧪 Body Horror Specialist
🎖️ Anatomist of the Visceral
Bastian Noir
Specialist in body horror, analog psychological thrillers, and the visceral. Analyzes the textures of human decay with biological metaphors and blood.
"The body always lies. The flesh doesn't."
#Body Horror
#Psychological Thriller
#New French Extremity
🧪 Acidity 91%
📜 Nostalgia 60%
💻 CGI 25%
💀 Mercy 15%
✨ Holy Film: Videodrome (1983)
💣 Nemesis Film: Cats (2019)
44 Reviews
7.0 Avg Score
Most reviewed genres
Perros Verdes 16
Clásicos 10
Estrenos 6
Series 5
Críticas 3
🎬 All reviews 44
Releases ⚡ Citric Acid
Clayface
Batman's squishiest villain becomes B-movie body horror with great makeup and a script made of putty. Worth watching? With reservations: 6.5/10.
By: Bastian Noir 10/23/2026 • ⏱️ 6 min
Releases ⚡ Citric Acid
Vertigo 2 Deadlock: When the True Abyss Is Not the Height, but the Viewer's Patience
Bastian Noir dissects the vertical horror sequel directed by Michael Spierig and Peter Spierig. Is it genuine terror or mere relational claustrophobia?
By: Bastian Noir 10/13/2026 • ⏱️ 6 min
Releases ⚡ Citric Acid
In the Grey Zone Autopsy of a Bloodless Heist
A surgical incision into Guy Ritchie's film that leaves more purulent tissue than adrenaline. Sarcasm and necrosis across 97 minutes.
By: Bastian Noir 9/24/2026 • ⏱️ 5 min
Releases ⚠️ Sulfuric Acid
The Signal of the Apocalypse A B-Movie with an Auteur’s Head
Andrea Tivadar and some punchy combat carry an hour of military thriller with cosmic nightmares, before the film gets lost in its own philosophical labyrinth.
By: Bastian Noir 9/21/2026 • ⏱️ 5 min
Series ⚠️ Sulfuric Acid
Breaking Bad
A televised autopsy that distills moral metastasis while the audience pays for every drop of synthetic blood.
By: Bastian Noir 9/19/2026 • ⏱️ 5 min
Series ⚠️ Sulfuric Acid
Special Operations Lioness – Autopsy of a series without anesthesia
A corrosive review that dissects Taylor Sheridan's series like a corpse of television malpractice.
By: Bastian Noir 9/17/2026 • ⏱️ 5 min
Green Dogs ⚡ Citric Acid
The Cursed Guest A Dream That Turns Into a Nightmare
A scathing critique that acknowledges the hits of Ruth Platt's unsettling work, but points out its lack of surprise and pacing.
By: Bastian Noir 9/17/2026 • ⏱️ 5 min
Series ⚠️ Sulfuric Acid
Reacher Autopsy of a series thriller
A brutal dissection of the series Reacher that reveals its purulent tissue and the necrosis of its script, with clinical sarcasm and dark humor.
By: Bastian Noir 9/15/2026 • ⏱️ 5 min
Green Dogs ⚡ Citric Acid
The Last Breath Oxygen-Deprived Immersion
A submarine dive that drowns more than it breathes: Claqueta Ácida's critique of a thriller running out of air.
By: Bastian Noir 9/15/2026 • ⏱️ 6 min
Green Dogs ⚠️ Sulfuric Acid
Noise A deaf echo in the corridor of anxiety
An autopsy of a cheap thriller that only manages to irritate the viewer while they pay for their ticket.
By: Bastian Noir 9/14/2026 • ⏱️ 6 min
Green Dogs ⚡ Citric Acid
The Dogs A bark that gets stuck in the throat
An acidic critique of Valerie Buhagiar's unsettling yet predictable effort, where rural horror remains in the shadows.
By: Bastian Noir 9/12/2026 • ⏱️ 5 min
Green Dogs 🔥 Nuclear Fusion
Piglet When the Mirror Returns Fangs
A teenage nightmare where bullying reeks of rotting flesh and revenge tastes like fresh blood. Gothic thriller with more grease than a slaughterhouse.
By: Bastian Noir 9/7/2026 • ⏱️ 5 min
Green Dogs ⚡ Citric Acid
Trick or Treat A Scathing Review of Bastian Noir
A biting review of 'Trick or Treat', where the horror atmosphere stays on the surface and talent dissolves into clichés.
By: Bastian Noir 9/6/2026 • ⏱️ 5 min
Green Dogs ⚡ Citric Acid
A Whisper Summoned My Name When Terror Smells Like Mold and a Recycled Script
85 minutes of Argentine Gothic atmosphere that promises more than it delivers. Bastian Noir dissects this horror ritual with a scalpel and sarcasm.
By: Bastian Noir 9/6/2026 • ⏱️ 9 min
Classics 🔥 Nuclear Fusion
Chained The Hitchcock Network
Acidic review of 'Chained', the Hitchcock film that will trap you
By: Bastian Noir 9/2/2026 • ⏱️ 11 min
Classics ⚡ Citric Acid
The Ninth Gate The Devil’s Tome Polanski Couldn’t Be Bothered to Read
Polanski delivers a gothic thriller with more dust than demons, where Johnny Depp wanders through pages even he can’t decipher. A cursed masterpiece or just another pretentious tome gathering cobwebs on the shelf?
By: Bastian Noir 8/17/2026 • ⏱️ 10 min
Classics 🔥 Nuclear Fusion
The Others The Phantom of the Victorian Opera in Light Gore (Or How Amenábar Sold Us Canned Fear with Class)
Alejandro Amenábar turns a gothic manor into a labyrinth of curtains and whispers. Nicole Kidman shines, but the script reeks of mothballs. A scalpel-sharp critique.
By: Bastian Noir 8/14/2026 • ⏱️ 11 min
Classics 🔥 Nuclear Fusion
Inglourious Basterds The Revenge That Tastes Like Blood and Rotten Celluloid
Tarantino rewrites history with a scalpel of razor-sharp dialogue and black humor that reeks of gunpowder. Christoph Waltz steals the corpse.
By: Bastian Noir 8/12/2026 • ⏱️ 9 min
Classics 🔥 Nuclear Fusion
The Matrix The Revolution That Rewired Cinema’s Brain
A scathing, razor-sharp takedown of *The Matrix*—the sci-fi flick that didn’t just bend reality but snapped it in half like a glow stick at a cyber-rave.
By: Bastian Noir 8/9/2026 • ⏱️ 11 min
Green Dogs 🔥 Nuclear Fusion
Mind Power A Blood-Soaked X-Ray of the Brain
A merciless dissection of 'Mind Power,' a body-horror gem that gnaws at your sanity
By: Bastian Noir 8/3/2026 • ⏱️ 14 min
Reviews ⚡ Citric Acid
Shrew's Nest A Maze of Shadows That’ll Claustrophobically Haunt You
A visceral, gothic dissection of the 2014 Spanish horror gem that traps you in its damp, nightmarish walls—whether you like it or not.
By: Bastian Noir 7/26/2026 • ⏱️ 12 min
Releases ⚡ Citric Acid
Azrael Samara Weaving and the Hell of Silence
E.L. Katz and Simon Barrett deliver a brutal, relentless mute survival horror film where Samara Weaving once again proves why she is the modern scream queen.
By: Bastian Noir 7/25/2026 • ⏱️ 6 min
Green Dogs 🔥 Nuclear Fusion
Manticore Carlos Vermut and the Monstrosity Lurking inside the Mind
Carlos Vermut plunges us into the abyss of guilt and unspeakable perversion in 'Manticore', a psychological thriller of unbearable discomfort.
By: Bastian Noir 7/25/2026 • ⏱️ 6 min
Green Dogs 🔥 Nuclear Fusion
Evil Juanma Bajo Ulloa and the Poetics of Analog Horror in the Age of Soulless Streaming
Juanma Bajo Ulloa returns with a gothic thriller that reeks of scorched celluloid and dried blood. Does *Evil* escape the folklore of domestic terror, or does it drown in its own symbolism?
By: Bastian Noir 7/16/2026 • ⏱️ 10 min
Green Dogs 🔥 Nuclear Fusion
The Changeling The Odyssey of Grief in 8mm or How to Lose Your Kid and Find a Monster Under the Bed
Apollo and Emma were living a fairy tale until folk horror reminded them that babies aren’t always what they seem. Or are they?
By: Bastian Noir 7/16/2026 • ⏱️ 12 min
Classics 🔥 Nuclear Fusion
The Descent When Hell Wears the Shape of a Cave (and a Trauma)
Neil Marshall drags us into a pit of claustrophobia, blood, and monsters that look like amateurs next to human horror. Pure, uncut claustrophobia.
By: Bastian Noir 7/13/2026 • ⏱️ 7 min
Festivals 🔥 Nuclear Fusion
Lenore The Rot of Existence
A psychological horror film that will make you question reality—if you can stomach the stench of its decay.
By: Bastian Noir 7/10/2026 • ⏱️ 13 min
Festivals 🔥 Nuclear Fusion
The Red Mask A Visage of Dread
Claqueta Ácida’s evisceration of *The Red Mask*: A film that throbs with terror
By: Bastian Noir 7/9/2026 • ⏱️ 9 min
Festivals ⚡ Citric Acid
All-You-Can-Eat A Feast of Flesh, Shame, and Rotten Celluloid
Zoe Berriatúa serves up a grotesque buffet of social gore and pitch-black humor in this all-you-can-eat orgy of bodies, guilt, and egg fried rice. Is it too raw, or just perfectly decomposed?
By: Bastian Noir 7/8/2026 • ⏱️ 13 min
Green Dogs ⚡ Citric Acid
*Blood Harvest The Claqueta Ácida Verdict*
When the corn turns red and Frendo the clown sows terror with a grin from ear to ear. Eli Craig grows horror in a rotten cornfield: a killer clown, insufferable teens, and a harvest of clichés.
By: Bastian Noir 7/4/2026 • ⏱️ 9 min
Classics 🔥 Nuclear Fusion
*American History X Claqueta Ácida’s Veredict – A Descent into the Heart of Hate*
*A Journey into the Abyss of Hate. A devastating critique of the film that drags us into the depths of racism and violence in a fractured California.*
By: Bastian Noir 7/2/2026 • ⏱️ 8 min
Classics 🔥 Nuclear Fusion
Eraserhead Eraser Brain or How to Birth a Monster in Celluloid
David Lynch turns fatherhood into an industrial nightmare of viscous textures and drowned screams in 89 minutes of pure analog body-horror. Art or cinematic miscarriage? We dissect it here.
By: Bastian Noir 7/2/2026 • ⏱️ 10 min
Green Dogs ⚡ Citric Acid
Baghead A Nightmare in the Dark (And We Mean *Literal* Darkness)
A scathing, gut-punch review of *Baghead*, the psychological thriller that drags you into the abyss—kicking, screaming, and probably tripping over your own feet.
By: Bastian Noir 6/29/2026 • ⏱️ 18 min
Green Dogs ⚡ Citric Acid
Marrowbone's Secret The House That Bleeds Memory (And Not Exactly From the Budget)
Sergio G. Sánchez crafts a gothic thriller with textures so rotten they reek of mothballs. Does it escape its own labyrinth of references, or does it drown in them?
By: Bastian Noir 6/27/2026 • ⏱️ 9 min
Controversies ⚡ Citric Acid
*The Last Jedi The Saga That Fell Down the Intergalactic Troll Hole*
A scathing review of *Star Wars: The Last Jedi*, the biggest fan controversy in the galaxy—where the Force drowns in debates and memes.
By: Bastian Noir 6/7/2026 • ⏱️ 11 min
Series 🔥 Nuclear Fusion
‘The Night Of’ When Justice is a Shattered Mirror and the Darkness Holds More Truths Than the Prosecutor
The night can be very dark, but *The Night Of* is even darker.
By: Bastian Noir 6/5/2026 • ⏱️ 11 min
Classics 🔥 Nuclear Fusion
*Persepolis When the Revolution Forces You to Grow Up (or Invent Your Own God)*
Iranian director Marjane Satrapi takes us on an odyssey of self-discovery and rebellion in a chiaroscuro world.
By: Bastian Noir 6/4/2026 • ⏱️ 11 min
Series 🔥 Nuclear Fusion
*Animal Kingdom A Descent into Hell (Where Family is the Devil’s Playground)*
A visceral takedown of *Animal Kingdom*, where "family values" take on a whole new (and deeply criminal) meaning.
By: Bastian Noir 6/2/2026 • ⏱️ 10 min
Green Dogs ⚡ Citric Acid
*The Divide A Luxury Cruise Straight to the Sewer of the Human Soul*
Xavier Gens locks us in a post-apocalyptic bunker to deliver a suffocating, toxic, and painfully nihilistic psychological study.
By: Bastian Noir 5/28/2026 • ⏱️ 6 min
Reviews ⚡ Citric Acid
*The Mummy The Mummification of Family Sanity*
Lee Cronin takes the Universal classic, strips off its golden bandages of nostalgia, and drags it through the muck of visceral body-horror and demonic possession.
By: Bastian Noir 5/27/2026 • ⏱️ 12 min
Green Dogs ⚡ Citric Acid
*In the Tall Grass The Time-Loop Nightmare Where the Grass Whispers Your Name (in Patrick Wilson’s Voice)*
Vincenzo Natali adapts Stephen King and Joe Hill, turning an innocent cornfield into a suffocating labyrinth of time loops and cosmic rocks with more mystical pretensions than an Instagram guru.
By: Bastian Noir 7/5/2024 • ⏱️ 14 min
Reviews 🔥 Nuclear Fusion
*Civil War Alex Garland’s Chilling, Flawless, and Terrifying Postcard of America’s Collapse*
Alex Garland plunges us into an uncomfortable dystopian nightmare that refuses to offer political explanations, instead zeroing in on the desensitization of war journalism.
By: Bastian Noir 4/12/2024 • ⏱️ 8 min
Classics 🔥 Nuclear Fusion
*Funny Games* Haneke Tortures Us with a Sadistic Smile—and We Love It
A satirical and squirm-inducing review of Michael Haneke’s modern Austrian cinema classic. A meta-cinematic essay that shames the viewer for their thirst for violence.
By: Bastian Noir 4/9/2024 • ⏱️ 8 min
